I don't know what I'm going to do when arrive home a year prematurely to my initial date of return. One thing is for sure, I will get some sleep, see the family again and hit the pub, go to my local, 'the regent' and drink some good old British ales, one of the main things I have missed all this time. I say all this time, it hasn't even been four months yet, only about three and a half.

Right, the plans have pretty much taken a turn for the worse. I have given up completely trying to explain and resolve the situation and have bought a ticket back to England, just to shut the fucker up basically, I couldn't deal with their lies any more. They were saying that it was impossible for me to print my onwards itinerary, there was nowhere in the airport at all I could do it. It was simply the supervisor being a cunt. Now they all they can do is wait and watch me board the plane back to England and I will turn my back on them and the country forever never to return again. I arrived at 6.00am and have spent all the morning and most of the afternoon in the waiting room in the immigration office, I have seen so much of Barbados it is ridiculous, I know the immigration department off by heart now. Hopefully I get on the flight problem free and will arrive back home safe and sound, I have to say I am not at all happy having to do this, it has completely ruined my plans, quite literally blown them out of the water, plus it means that if I want to carry on after stopping over in England it will have costed me nearly $2000 more than I would have had to spend. I must receive compensation from either my insurance company or lastminute.com or both and be fully refunded for my flights as I have only managed to use one of the tickets, the part between Trinidad and Tobago. I had to buy a new ticket from Caracas, I haven't even had a chance to use my ticket to the Bahamas and on to New Orleans and wont get a chance as the ticket is one part and is non transferable. I should be able to sort something out for my return ticket from Santiago as there is no way I can use that now either. It would seem that I have in a way been deported back to England, immigration is not letting me continue my journey in any way, they said I can either back track all the way through Venezuela (fuck that again) or go back home, I obviously chose the latter, that's why I'm moaning about it so much. I think I'm entitled to though, don't you?

One thing that is sure from my recent experience, I will definitely go to Trinidad and Tobago again, I really enjoyed the short time I had there and was treated really well by the locals and the staff at the airport, but Barbados. Where do I begin? I will never come here again, no matter what people say or do, I'm never returning. I have decided to never purchase anything produced or in connection with Barbados, which is unfortunate as one of my favourite rums is from here, oh well, one bad experience can leave a permanent impression and mine is definitely not a good one. If anyone wants to travel the Caribbean make sure to steer well clear of Barbados, the immigration there is like a prison and even if you have done nothing wrong in any way whatsoever, you still get treated like a prisoner.

Still in the bloody waiting room, they keep calling me in for no fucking reason, to ask a stupid irrelevant question, then I got called in for questioning. They have decided that my passport may be fake and that my provisional drivers licence isn't a valid form of identification. They searched my bags and found nothing, then asked me lots of questions about home, family, names, addresses etc... Hasn't helped a single thing, they are making no effort in trying to get me on my way instead they are wasting their time and mine pretty much doing nothing trying to figure me out, their puny minds can't comprehend the fact that somebody might be travelling around the world and also choose to go to the Caribbean, it doesn't make any sense to them. All they need to do, is get onto someone at American Airlines, let me use the computer, print off my onwards bus journey and I am sorted, I will be valid to travel in the US and be able to get my flight and continue my journey.

words cannot describe how pissed off I am with this all now, it has gone far beyond a joke, I cannot handle it any more, if I can't get my flight to the Bahamas then I will just go back home. I had to wake up at about 3.15am so am really fucking tired, got my flight to Barbados okay and now American Airlines won't accept me as they don't believe I have an onwards journey. Last night I spent ages reading all the small print on the US Government website concerning immigration. I came to a conclusion that in order to enter the country you need either a return ticket or an onwards ticket, I have an onwards ticket by bus from Boston to Montreal, I have a valid passport and visa, there is no reason whatsoever that I should be refused. Barbados are refusing me again but I don't give a flying fuck about those cunts any more, they can fuck right off! I have no way that to print off my itinerary confirming that I do have an onwards journey from the US, without this I'm am pretty fucked. Why don't the stupid bastards have anywhere where I can print it, I can't be expected to print it in a prison cell can I? I have got until 14.30 when my flight to Miami leaves, I have until then to sort this fucking mess out, or clean up a mess that was started by either lastminute.com or the stupid cunts and Barbados immigration, I'll blame both for now, in my mind they are both as responsible as each other. I have lost all faith that I will be able to continue my travels and by the looks of it am going to have to purchase a flight back to the UK, which I really don't want but might have to do as I could be the only option. Right now all I can do is wait, the bastards have locked me in the waiting room at Barbados immigration. The supervisor at immigration is possibly the biggest prick I have ever met, he seems to have his head so far up his own arse he can't even hear anymore. The fuckers are trying to get me out of the country asap, in that case I am going to fuck them over as much as I can to get revenge for them fucking me over. I don't like swearing this much but it is helping to calm my rage, so much rage!

Out of fright and because of an advanced warning by immigration at Trinidad, I bought an onwards journey from the USA to Canada so I could enter there with no problems (touch wood). I am starting to feel much better about this problem, besides it has saved me almost $300 US on food drink and accommodation, there is some good in this badness! Three days and three nights in a hotel with a 24hr security guard, hopefully it will be over but I think I will remember this for the rest of my life, its quite an event being refused entry and put under 24hr watch.
Lets hope the rest of my trip is as eventful but for better reasons.

Got woken up once again by a phone call, at about 5.00am again, I think that maybe I was supposed to be on a flight to either Miami to continue my journey from there or they would talk Barbados into letting me enter again and transit onwards on my journey. None of the above, missed the flight to Miami then was told that I couldn't do that, it would invalidate my ticket if I did. Because I had my flight booked from Barbados to the Bahamas via Miami and JKF I couldn't transfer it or change any aspect of it, in fact I wouldn't even be able to use my onwards flight to New Orleans. This incident at Barbados has properly ruined my plans and could cost me a small fortune If it can't be sorted. Just as I was actually toying with the idea of buying a brand new set of tickets, I got word that the flights had all been sorted, I was allowed to enter Barbados on transit, I no longer had to purchase a visa but had to pay a fine, the exact amount was unsure but they had a feeling it would be around the $200 US mark, a bit shit as I shouldn't have to pay it but its a whole lot better than shelling out $774 US. American Airlines had managed to change the dates of my flights to tomorrow to the same route that was on my original itinerary. It sounds stupid but it was my cheapest option, my flight from Barbados to the Bahamas goes a little like this; Barbados to Miami, Miami to JFK (arriving the following morning), JFK back to Miami (arriving the following morning), then onwards to the Bahamas, arriving two days later, a whole lot dirtier and smellier, but much more relieved.

I pretty much slept and watched TV all day, did relatively nothing, ate my free food, then went to bed.

How can I relax when I have no idea of what my outcome is going to be and how long I will be stuck in Trinidad.

As soon as I lay on the bed and closed my eyes I was gone, I passed right out and slept for a couple of hours. I was woken up by a loud knocking on the door, it was my lunch, whilst I'm staying at the hotel, I get breakfast, lunch and dinner all for free. Pretty good eh? I get accommodation, food and drink for free. The food is okay, not the greatest but I'm not going to moan about free food. I got a phone call from Caribbean Airlines at the airport saying they had just got off the phone with Barbados immigration and that they would let me in but I needed to fill out the visa and pay for it, I wasn't allowed to enter on the free visa waiver they offer, even though I am fully legible for it, they are just being pricks about it. Sort of managed to get it done and emailed off to the airport, lets hope it works, but now its time to do nothing and relax.

Back to the hotel with my new guard, he wanted me to sell him a bottle of rum I bought in duty free as he isn't allowed to make any duty free purchases, if he does he will lose his job. I sold it to him at retail value, no point trying to make even the smallest profit, even if I could it would be pointless, the Litre bottle of Mount gay rum only costs $9 US, absolute bargain when a 70cl bottle in England costs about £16. While we waited for the driver to come and pick us up and take us to the hotel, we went for a walk. My guard, this was the second guard now, he had a slightly harder accent to understand but I could just about get what he was saying. He wanted to show me some local cuisine, something called a double, it was two savoury pancake sort of things with a chick pea curry and hot sauce. They were actually really tasty, sort of like a savoury veggie crepe. This time at the hotel I had the rest of the afternoon and evening to kill, I had some stuff to do though, I had to search for alternative options just in case something else goes wrong.

At the airport there was more and more confusion, I tried everything to explain what had happened, they gave me some options, told me what I could do. Nothing worked, I was still stuck, couldn't sort any flights out. As I am attempting to travel around for more, I don't really have enough money to spend on buying a whole new set of tickets, I shouldn't have to, I didn't make the fuck up, it was the bastards at Barbados. A word of advice for future and others who wish to visit Barbados; you must have enough cash to support your stay, either an onwards ticket or a return ticket, a valid passport etc... (according to the immigration officials). It seemed as though I was waiting for nothing, I had been at the airport all morning, my guard had finished his shift and he was replaced. I had to wait for somebody from American Airlines to arrive so I could try and transfer my flights, or at least change the dates or something. Bad news but that wasn't going to stop me trying. Nothing, no luck at all, nothing, not even a crumb of good news, for me to continue my journey, I must get my flight from Barbados and they wont let me in. Immigration at Trinidad are currently trying to sweet talk Barbados but I doubt they will have any luck. Turns out they sort of did, I was allowed to enter but on a condition I pay. Too late, I had missed the flights and my onwards flight would leave by the time I arrived

There was no reason whatsoever to get up so early, I awoke at 5.00am then received word that I didn't need to be at the airport until nine. As I was fully awake now there was no need for me to go back to sleep so I stayed awake. I had some scrambled eggs and frankfurters on toast and read some of my book. The security guard who was watching me fell asleep on the bed, just had to wait till it was time to go back to the airport and try and sort out my flights.

I got about half an hours sleep, I got to my room at about 2.00am or so, then turned the TV on and a film called 'Step Brothers' had just begun, I have been told how funny it was so I watched it it was pretty funny and some moments of it had me in stitches. By the time I finally managed to get to sleep my phone rang as a wake up call. I got about half and hours sleep.
Got some relatively good news, apparently they have sorted my forwarding flight to the Bahamas, I'm keeping my fingers crossed, I no longer have any confidence with this leg of my journey, the most important thing I have to do now is get into the Bahamas and then sort out my Cuban visa so I can get to Cuba hopefully problem free.

Because of the bastards at Barbados keeping me there for five hours, it is now too late to really do anything at Trinidad and I will have to wait till morning. When I did get to the customs at Trinidad it took me over an hour to finally get through to them what had happened and why. I was stuck there for another five hours, then they decided to let me go under watch by a customs guard. I was escorted out of the airport and taken to a nearby hotel for the night, where I was locked in a room and not allowed out. I have been treated like a prisoner since being refused entry into Barbados and I have done nothing wrong, literally nothing, I haven't broken any laws or rules, nothing, its fucking outrageous.

FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!
No such luck! I had problems at the customs again! They couldn't find any details of my onwards journey to the Bahamas, I had given them all the information I had but nothing, they were useless fuckwits! I had to wait in immigration for about an hour whilst I waited for the man in charge to sort this mess out, I was hoping he would come out any minute and say sorry sir, the flights are all sorted, sorry for the inconvenience but no. The bastard straight up said no, and refused my entry into Barbados, I would be put back on the next available flight to Trinidad and then sort it out there. Refused Entry!!! what the fuck for? I haven't done a single thing wrong, I have a fucking onwards flight that has been paid for and is confirmed. I have no idea? They asked me how much money I had in cash, I'm not a stupid fuck so I don't carry around large amounts of cash especially as I am a solo backpacker, I make easy prey for muggers and the sort. They claimed that I didn't have enough funds to support my stay of nine days. Are the no ATMs in Barbados anywhere, what is so wrong with having debit cards? I am so fucking angry right now I probably could kill someone, at the least inflict enough damage to leave them fucked up for life, damn I am angry, I was and still am, its not going anywhere. I really wanted to go to Barbados now I can't enter the country for at least six months. I don't believe the fuckers sent me back, it is by far the strictest place I have ever been. It has now completely ruined my plans and I am going to have to do a lot of sorting out to get back on my feet, luckily everybody speaks English so a little less for me to worry about. No matter how much I explained they weren't having any of it, the stupid fucks. I wouldn't normally swear this bad but I think I'm fully entitled to giving the circumstances, made worse by the fact I have done nothing wrong. I will surely be making a complaint to lastminute.com for how crap they have sorted out my tickets, I mean what the fuck e-tickets supposedly easier and more reliably than paper plus they can't be lost, they can get fucking lost, mine have. My journey around the Caribbean has been riddled with problems since my flight from Caracas, they couldn't find my details either and that was my first flight. I have to demand compensation for all my problems and maybe a refund as I have had to rebook some flights. All in all, well as it stands I have been stuck at Caracas one night and had to book a new flight out as they couldn't find my details, I was stuck at Trinidad for about five hours the first time. I was refused entrance into Barbados as the fuckers couldn't find any details and information on my onward journey to the Bahamas. I was sent back to Trinidad, not allowed entrance there and put under 24hour guard (so I don't escape... all I want to do is get the fuck out and on to the Bahamas and continue my trip) then taken to a hotel for the rest of the night till 5.00am when I have to wake up. At least Caribbean Airlines put me up for a night in a hotel, that was nice of them. All in all I have had a really shit time so far in the Caribbean, my four days, two in Trinidad and two in Tobago was amazing but everything in between had been a disaster.
I say bring back paper tickets as the main form of ticketing and have the e-ticket system as a back up just in case the paper ticket gets lost.

Getting my ticket was no problem this time, just gave them my passport and the details and I was off, had a kfc for breakfast then boarded the flight. It took about twenty minutes to get to Trinidad, the by the time we got to roughly our height it was time to land. I was in good time to make my flight, I checked my bag in, got my ticket then relaxed in the departure lounge. I went passed the duty free and couldn't resist buying a litre of Mount Gay rum, from Barbados for only $9 US and a bottle of El Dorado 5yr old, from Guyana for $12 US, both were so cheap, a lot cheaper than back in England. In the departure lounge, there were students form UWI (University of the West Indies) doing some survey on eco tourism, I happily helped out and got a free notepad and pen for my time. It was time to board my flight, I was getting really excited like a little child now, I had been waiting to touch down in Barbados, find a beautiful beach put up my hammock in the shade and chill out with a bottle of rum and some ice.

There was a lot going on at no man's land, I thought it would be more of a picturesque deserted island beach sort of place, it was a little bit but was too touristy, there were several tables laid out wit food being prepared on them, all sorts, fruits salads, chicken, fish and rice to name a few. As time went by, more tour groups arrived, they had all done roughly the same thing as me, had a go at fishing, some snorkelling and some swimming in the crystal clear, warm water with its turquoise glow. The way I did it had good and bad points, good as it was just me so I could do whatever I wanted and take as long as I wanted but the bad thing was that I was pretty much alone, apart from Brandon, the skipper Blondie and his friend. I got to drink some freshly made rum punch made out of fruit punch, some spices, a small amount of bitters and this stuff called punchen rum the no less than 75% stuff. The punch was good, strong but not overpowering, very nice, a few more of those and I would be on my way to getting quite drunk. As I was alone there was no point in having them cook food for me so I was just given bits and bobs from every other groups food. The food was pretty good and when washed down with some rum punch was even better. We stayed there till about 17.00 then headed back to the hostel. I had a lazy evening, had a beer, some rum had a webcam chat with my parents, I haven't seen them or in over three months now, then just spent the rest of the night watching TV, then went to bed. I got as early night as I could as I had to be out by about 8.30am in order to get to the airport for my 10.40 flight back to Trinidad, then on to my flight to Barbados. I was looking forward to Barbados for ages, it was another of my highlights.

Firstly it was time for some snorkelling at Bucco reef. I was pretty nervous about snorkelling as all the other times I have tried it I seem to have mini panic attacks, not about sharks or getting stranded or drowning or anything like that, its the mask makes me claustrophobic. I find it hard and uncomfortable having my nose blocked off and having to breathe through my mouth through a snorkel. It was worth it though, no panic attacks, just the occasional time when I had to surface to get the water out my mask. Snorkelling around the reef was amazing, the coral itself wasn't that great to look at, mostly looked like rotting logs and some brain patterned boulders. The fish on the other hand was a completely different story. I saw all sorts of fish from plain ugly fish to black and white striped fish, yellow and black striped fish, big blue fish, small fish with turquoise heads, yellow and blue fish, all sorts of fish, too many to name. I saw some massive eel huddled up under a big rock, I tried to get a better look but could only see its tail, it looked like a big fat gherkin. There was a sting ray about 5m away but I couldn't see it properly as I wasn't wearing my glasses under the goggles, same with a reef shark, I could see the rough blurry outline but no detail whatsoever. I would recommend snorkelling at coral reefs to anyone who gets the opportunity, you get to see so much life, so much diversity and it has to be one of the most relaxing feelings to be floating around looking at fish not having to worry about surfacing to get air all the time. After my great experience with snorkelling it was time to cook up the tuna for lunch at no man's land.

We had been discussing plans to go out and doing some more fishing and snorkelling the next day, I wanted to do it but didn't really want to fork out $75 US for it, Brandon agreed to do it for about $60 US which save me some money but I think was still pretty expensive. The day would include fishing for lunch, snorkelling at Buccoo reef, then partying on a beach they call 'no man's land'. We set off about 11.00am to spend the whole day doing all of the above.
The fishing was great fun, I was on a roll, I managed to catch four small tunas in under an hour, would have been five but one got away as me line got caught on my poncho so I couldn't pull it in the last five metres and it used that to escape. In total we caught seven small tuna, we weren't going to try for any big fish, just settle with the tuna and grill them over a fire for lunch on no man's land.

Back at the dock, there was a swarm of people and a lot of commotion, the villages fisherman had returned from their day at sea with boats filled with flying fish, they were very strange to watch, they just leap out of the water and fly about a foot from the surface then disappear below, the fisherman had also caught some barracuda, none as big as the one that got away and lots of tuna, small and large tuna, being filleted or cut up into steaks. If I had caught both barracudas I could have either kept one for another time, or sold it to the locals for about $10-20 TT per lb, it probably weighed about 25-30lbs. So could have been quite a bit of profit. Brandon scaled and filleted the fish then we left, I though that it was a bit of a waste but never mind, I kept on dropping one of the fillets but it mattered not, all we had to do was simply wash it a bit. In all the madness I completely forgot to take a photograph of the fish I caught, let alone a photograph of me holding it, I don't know what I was thinking to miss a great photo opportunity like that, oh well, maybe next time. I will always have my memories of it, the day I caught a barracuda.
Brandon cooked the fish in the oven, with chopped onion and fresh thyme wrapped up in foil, it was amazing, so fresh and flavoursome, it reminded me of sea bass, looked very similar and had a similar sort of taste and texture. It was a good fish to eat apart from the body section had lots of bones, some small and some were huge hard things, the tail on the other hand had no bones in it at all and the flesh was beautifully tender. It was washed down with a few bottles of beer and half a bottle of rum punch.

Soon enough we had a bite, something considerably larger, more powerful and much much heavier. When the fish came into view we saw that it was a barracuda, I had managed to snag a barracuda, I had no idea what fish to expect but I never would have expected a barracuda. It was hard work to pull it into the boat, it weighed a great deal more than the tuna and put up a lot more of a fight. When I got really close, it felt as if it had freed itself from the hook but I soon realised or was told that it is a trick they use to make us think its gone so it can wriggle off the hook. Not fooling us Mr barracuda, your mine and will be in my belly sometime this evening. From what Randy was saying it wasn't the biggest barracuda that's for sure but it would make a great meal for two to three people. It was probably about two feet long and about as thick as a large orange.
We only had the one tuna left over to use as bait, we could either try and catch more or keep it and eat it, in the excitement I of course went for the option to catch me another barracuda or another big fish. Not long after I threw the line out, I had a bite, it felt even larger and stronger than the one before, we could see it was a barracuda again but just how big we weren't sure. It put up a big fight to avoid being caught though, it jumped all over the place and did the same trick to try and fool us, just as I got it out of the water it jumped off the hook, the bastard got away, with my tuna which made it a little worse. This one was huge, it must have been at least three feet long and about as wide as a small watermelon. Would have been such a great catch and would have served for a feast but it got away, I was upset but at least I had caught one barracuda any ways.

He knew all the places to go to catch fish, he claimed, I wasn't so confident but him constantly saying I would catch something guaranteed sort of turned me around eventually. About half an hour of throwing out the line, the line is just a thickish fishing line with a hook and a brightly coloured squid lure on one and and attached to a big loop, we got a bit, I got a bite and pulled it in. I was really excited now, I actually had a fish on the end of my line and I was pulling it in, I had just caught us dinner. As the line got shorted, the fish got closer and closer, I could see that it was a tuna, a small tuna of around six inches or just under. I didn't know what to think when I pulled it in, part of me was disappointed but most of me was quite hopeful that I wouldn't have to pay for this fishing experience. I had two lines out and straight after I got one bite, I had another, it was another tuna roughly the same size so I wasn't exactly going to jump up and down with glee. When they were both on the boat and in a bucket I said quite cockily that I wouldn't have to pay as the fish were too small. To judge this Brandon had broken me off a twig about six inches long to use as a measuring stick. I was dumbfounded when he said that we were only catching bait, small fry compared to what we were going after. We attached the tuna to a double hooked line and threw that out and went around with that dangling off the back of the boat.

Spent most of the afternoon chatting to Brandon, the owner, about things to do in Tobago, the list was almost endless, from hiking and scuba diving to going to bars, clubs and casinos, all sorts. Was up for doing something, I felt like doing quite a lot actually as I hadn't done much in Trinidad and only had two days to cram as much in as possible. Eventually he persuaded me to go fishing out in Buccoo bay just past Buccoo reef. He gave me an incentive, if I couldn't catch a fish over six inches I wouldn't have to pay a penny, I jumped at the chance a little naïve but very excited. We set out to the dock to pick up the boat, I had no idea what to expect maybe I would catch a massive fish or maybe I wouldn't catch a single thing, all I know is that Brandon was very very confident, he said he was sure that I would definitely catch a fish 'guaranteed'. There was a bit of confusion about boats and lines and that sort of thing but we were off soon enough.

Tobago is a cool place, very idealistic, so much so that pretty much the whole coastline looks like a postcard image, I couldn't wait to hit the beach and relax, I actually had a place to stay this time, even though I hadn't booked I was optimistic that there would be room for me. After driving around with no idea where this place was, the driver asked a couple of locals, they pointed us in the right direction and soon enough we were there. The place didn't look that great from the outside, there was quite a bit of construction work going on, well half done but on hold. The room was your standard six bed dorm, with an en suite bathroom. There was a communal kitchen and a TV with an okay selection of DVDs, none of which are in their rightful cases. Overall the place seems good enough, it is $20 US a night which is pretty cheap by Caribbean standards. The owner is a right laid back fellow, when I first met him we did all the formalities, he showed me around the place, signed me in then left me to do whatever whilst he finished cleaning up. The land had a few mango trees in it, there were mangos all over the floor, everywhere you looked was a mango. He came out after a few minutes and hit a few mangos off the tree for me with a big long bamboo stick. The fresh mangos straight off the tree were amazing, especially as they were slightly warmed by the sun, they were very sweet and juicy and full of flavour, perfect afternoon refreshment.

Fortunately I had a lie I this morning, gave me an opportunity to pack my stuff, shower and get ready to go to the airport, this time I would leave in good time just in case there is another problem with the bloody tickets. Got there early enough to be put on stand by for an earlier flights, mine wasn't due till about 14.10 but I got put on a flight that was due to leave at 12.55, pretty nice, would give me more time in Tobago to get things done. I took that flight, it was delayed but I still arrived a couple of hours earlier than I would have if I had waited for my flight.

I suddenly got the urge to go to the cinema and see Iron Man 2 so I asked where the nearest cinema was and headed off. Good timing, the film was going to start at 16.00 and it was 15.30 so yeah, good time. The film was pretty good and I was pretty hungry so I headed for the main street with all the bars and restaurants and found a cheap-ish place that sold kebabs. One chicken kebab down and a little walk around I decided to head back so as not to spend too much money, the temptation to drink is overwhelming. Even though on the was back I got a fish kebab, I knew that my budget had been good for the day as I hadn't eaten anything yet. I remembered I had some rum punch in the fridge so didn't need to buy any more alcohol. Whilst getting my kebabs, a bloke came up to me said hello, and then asked if I wanted any girls or drugs, he claimed to have the best girls in Trinidad, I declined of course. Oh, I also remembered that you can flush toilet paper down the toilet, none of this crap of throwing it into a bin. I have to admit though that I have got used to throwing my tissue in the bin and when I first went to the toilet here I spent the first minute looking for a bin. As its election time coming up soon, there are lots of adverts on TV about political parties and throughout the streets are posters and cars driving up and down streets with speakers saying something or other about themselves and their rivals.

I got up late, catching up on my sleep felt really good, plus I got pretty drunk on rum last night. I tried this drink called 'hard wine' the slogan is 'feel the heat' and it has a silhouetted image of a naked man and woman on the front, I have a feeling that it is sort of an energy and alcohol drink aimed at people as being like a natural Viagra. When I woke up I could not be bothered at all to leave my bed, I was so comfortable and was a little bit too late to do what I wanted to do. I had initially planned to go to another city on the south of the island called San Fernando but I wasn't too fussed about it, so I didn't, mind too much when I never went. Instead I went for a walk around the city. Port of Spain is not the most beautiful city I have been to, or does it have the most to do, to be honest, there isn't much at all here but it is what it is and its in the Caribbean so I'm not complaining. I went along the main road that is parallel to the coast, headed for the centre of town. I completely forgot that it was a Sunday, pretty much everything was closed, a couple of cars, a shop or two and a few restaurants. I went into a supermarket to get a drink and ended up buying something called 'cool mauby' it was a local drink made from some bark, it was so bitter, like almost to the extent of Fernet, in fact it tasted so similar to Fernet that it almost made me sick. I gave it to the first homeless person I saw and he said something I have no idea what. Along my walk I went past the Brian Lara promenade, nothing special to such a big legend from the T & T. I headed roughly in the direction of my hotel, ended up in the so called ghetto of the city, it did look pretty run down, everything had barbed wire on it and the pavement was all broken up. I walked past block of flats and someone up the top shouted down to me if I wanted any drugs or anything, I said no and walked on. That was a clear sign for me to head out from that area so I took the first turning off and towards the main street again. Once again I ended up in a place that looked pretty dodgy, I walked past a house with a few people sitting outside, they called me over so I went, not too sure why but I went anyway. They introduced themselves, they were clearly drug dealers but I told them I didn't want anything and they didn't argue or anything so we had a chat for a few minutes, they told me to be careful around here, there are some bad parts.

I had a really tasty bbqued king fish, with steak cut chips and sautéed vegetables, and a local Trinidadian beer called Carib. The portion was bloody massive, sort of made it worth it, plus they supplied their own special chilli sauce. It has to be the spiciest sauce I have ever had, dragons blood eat your heart out, this sauce wasn't claiming to be the spiciest in the world, it was just a simple local chilli sauce but blimey it could be bottled and be one of the spiciest sauces in the world. I'm getting a little worried now that if that is how spicy normal chilli sauce is, I wonder what hot sauce will be like? After my food I headed straight for the bar, I got another local beer called Stag, had that as a chaser and had a local rum called black label, for a cheap rum it was pretty good, it was a golden rum and had a very sweet initial taste with a slight burn, very good for the price. My round cost me $24 TT which is roughly $4 US, the $TT are about six to one to the $US. I had a walk around looking for a new bar, found one, it had a very extensive licor selection but looked relatively expensive. I order two rums, an El Dorado 15year old $25 TT and an El Dorado 25year old $75 TT. I misunderstood the price, I thought she had said fifty five not seventy five. Any way they were both amazing, I actually preferred the 15year old, it was smoother, slightly sweeter and not as smokey, the 25year old was a little too smokey for me. I decided to go back to the hotel in order to not spend any more money, I had already spent about $100 US in one day so I called it a night.

I went to my room, was going to shower, shave, have a bite to eat then go out and drink some rum but as soon as I sat on the bed, it was a ridiculously comfortable memory foam mattress like my old bed at home, I just got really lazy and sat and watched TV for a couple of hours. Then I had my shower and went out to the supermarket, had a look at all the alcohol they had and was amazed by the selection. I bought some snacks, some drinks, went back to the hotel put my stuff away and headed straight out to eat and drink. I went to possibly the most expensive restaurant around, my meal with a beer cost me about $20 US, what the hell, I deserved some good food and drink after all I had been travelling for over fifty two hours before I was finally settled down in a hotel.

The driver took me to a place in an area called Woodbrook, pretty much central in Port of Spain. The place was called 'the Melbourne inn' it was a quite little budget accommodation only one block from the main street for bars and clubs, and only one block from the main road along the harbour. Another bonus was that it was only $33 US for the cheapest room which was a bit cheaper than what I was expecting to pay. The staff were really friendly, telling me about local life and culture and telling me not to drink punchen unless I want to get really drunk and sick. Everyone I had met so far was really cool, relaxed and friendly, I knew I was going to enjoy the Caribbean.

I went and got out some cash, found a taxi to take me, the taxi driver had told me to let him know when I was ready to leave, when I was ready I couldn't even find him so I went outside. He came over to me, took me to his cab and left. He was a really cool guy called Patrick, he was explaining that he didn't want to make the tourist information bloke look bad but he didn't agree with the place that he had recommended, it was in a dodgy area and wasn't as cheap as there was. He said he would drive me around a bit, show me the city, then take me to a couple of places he knew in a good area and were relatively cheap. He did say that he would take me to the place I had been told to go to if I didn't like his recommendations. On the drive we had a chat, he told me a little about the country, the 'drink driving' law had only been passed about two months ago. What the hell, it was legal to drink and drive and a taxi driver was admitting this to me, doesn't feel me with much confidence on the whole taxi situation in Trinidad. They had to now wear seatbelts as well. What really shocked me was that they drove on the left hand side of the road like back in England, it was so strange to see this after being used to cars driving on the right hand side. We spoke about rum, a lot of talk about rum, it is true that the Caribbeans do drink a lot of rum. They have this stuff called 'punchen' rum, it is around 75% volume so pretty damn strong, will definitely put hairs on your chest. I hadn't had a drink in a while, well, not too long only a few days but I had now been travelling for fifty two hours with about six hours sleep.

I'm so excited to have now arrived in Trinidad, my dream of actually getting to the Caribbean has been realised.
My journey didn't exactly start too well, I spent the whole morning at the airport. They wouldn't let me through as I didn't have a return flight and they couldn't find any information on my onwards flight. I definitely had one, I had booked it a week ago and had all the confirmation details in an email, only thing was I had no chance to print it off anywhere. There was wifi all over the airport so I went online in my laptop, showed them my flight details, they searched the same flight but couldn't find any information on it. I was finally freed to go at about 13.30 and I had been there since 10.30am so a good few hours waiting around for them to let me through the customs.
I had no idea where I was going to stay, I asked around and went to the tourist information desk, the bloke working there searched around for the cheapest places for me, the cheapest he got was $40 US.

The plane was the smallest plane I had ever seen let alone been on for an international flight, it was a tiny twenty four seater Dash 8-300, it was less than half full but had a real cosy feel to it. I was looking through the in flight magazine and was surprised by what a selection of alcohol they had. They sold every Henessey cognac, including 'pure white' a very rare special edition for $40 US. They also had a spectacular selection of rums, El Dorados and Angosturas, I suppose they were Caribbean rums and I was in the Caribbean.

It took me a good twenty minutes or so to find the Caribbean airlines ticketing place, when I found it they had no idea about my ticket. I tried my hardest to explain what was going on in Spanish I think they understood, I had missed my flight last night and had bought a ticket for this mornings flight but the payment didn't go through so I had to pay and collect my ticket. After about half an hour explaining, they finally realised what was going on and happened, I went off to pay for it in the office using the same card as the night before. All paid, now with ticket I was now roughly free to do what I wanted until the flight, I just needed to sort out the airport tax. I had no money on me at all and my card wouldn't work in the ATM. I went and did a quick poo, then had to get down to business and sort out the tax payment, all $162.50 Bolivars. I went and asked where I could withdraw some money, they said at the cambios, they can withdraw money for me. I went there and it took about forty minutes for them to withdraw some money for the tax. My time was slowly ticking away, I was actually getting really worried that I might miss my flight again. I quickly paid my airport tax, went through customs, the queue was taking forever, I just heard my name called over loudspeaker and fear was really starting to kick in, I was shitting myself, I didn't want to miss another flight and have to pay all over again. I went as fast as I could, when I got to the gate, it was closed! Shit!!!
Thank goodness I wasn't the only one missing, they opened the doors, I walked out onto the plane and sat in my seat, what a relief, I was now on my way finally.

As I had so long to wait at the airport over night, I decided I would catch up with some writing, it was the perfect opportunity to I gave it full advantage. After I had caught up with where I needed to be, I read a little then fell asleep on the floor for about two hours. Bearing in mind I had only had about five or six hours sleep in the last forty eight hours, I managed to get a couple of hours on the buses and a couple on a bench at the Maracaibo bus terminal.
When I woke up about 5.00am I went straight to sort out my flight, I had tried to book one the night before but the payment wouldn't go through. I went and checked my emails, I had asked my mum to try and sort the ticket out for me, I gave her all the details she needed, unfortunately the office was closed so she had no luck. I went to get a bite to eat, I had a ham and cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.

The bus broke down about three hours in but the driver managed to sort the problem out and we got going again. It wasn't until about two hours from the end of the trip at about 17.00 that I found out the bloke was bull shitting, that the bus wasn't heading at all, far from, it was going to a place a called Valencia. I got off there and tried my hardest to get a way to Caracas as quick as I could, I had a flight to catch. No such luck, I didn't arrive at the bus terminal in Caracas until around 22.00pm a bit too late to get my 19.30 flight. By this point I have only eaten three empanadas in two days or travelling. I was hungry, angry and stressed, plus I now had to have another night roughing it till I can catch the first flight out to Trinidad in the morning. I had myself some fried chicken for dinner, booked my flights then had some more bloody problems at the checkout for it, it didn't accept my cards, then I got passed the number of attempts and it referred me to customer services. I just hope it all works out well and I can get on that flight tomorrow morning, problem free. It is true what they say about Venezuela, it isn't set up for tourism at all, its a very inconvenient country and especially bad when you don't speak Spanish.

I left early in the morning in the hope of getting a bus to Caracas, little did I know that the only direct bus left at 8.30am and there was only one a day, I didn't get to the bus terminal till about 10.15am. I got a bus to Maicao near the Venezuelan border, then from there I planned to get a bus to Caracas. No such luck, the bus terminal was closed, I got a lift to Maracaibo by some random man, paid him $80 Bolivars, about £25. The journey took about three hours and was in no way comfortable, it took me about twenty minutes to get passed the Colombian customs to get my exit stamp, the bloke working was eating, then the lights kept turning themselves on and off. Finally done I still had to go to the Venezuelan checkpoint, get my entrance stamp, then have my things completely unpacked, searched and then pack them again. This happened three times along the way to Maracaibo, plus the inconvenience of having to get my passport out and show it every ten minutes. Things didn't get much better for me when I finally arrived in Maracaibo, the bloke who gave me the lift just dropped me off in some random place, I had get a taxi to the bus terminal where there were no buses running that night, I had to rough it on a bench till morning. It was so hot and uncomfortable on that bench, I was surprised with myself the fact I kept on falling asleep. When I woke up about 5.50am there was quite a lot going on all around me, I was desperate to get a bus to Caracas as quick as I can, I really didn't want to miss my flight and have to deal with some more inconvenience and spend some more money that I would rather not spend. Some man selling tickets for a bus company said that he had a bus going to Caracas, I got on, confirmed that it was going to Caracas and set off, 6.00am plenty of time.

During the day in Cartagena I didn't get up to much like always, I spent most of the time walking around, having orange juices, eating 'arepas' maize savoury muffin sort of things, they are in between muffins and potato cakes and taste amazing when spread with butter and stuffed with cheese. I had to buy a pack of the corn ones and some cheese to put on top, very tasty. Cartagena was a good place to take it easy and relax, especially when the hostel has a pool. I got some more pasta, to make some food for my bus journey but it went completely tits up, the pasts must have had some problem because as soon as the water boiled, the pasta instead of cooking just reverted back into dough, raw wet sticky dough. No food for the bus then.

I took the first night easy, the second night I got pretty pissed with a few others, some people we had arranged to meet from Medellin. We shared two bottles of rum between three of us, to put into perspective two things, how much that actually was and how much I can drink, I pretty much had a third of one bottle and half of another and was the only one still standing at the end. The French guy got so drunk he ended up naked in the pool, the other guy was nowhere to be seen, then he was in bed. The hostel had a pool, a pretty small filthy pool but a pool any how. The pool closed at 20.00pm and the French guy told me to wait and then I saw him sprint into the pool naked at about 2.30am it was such a funny moment, the bloke on the night shift had a go at him, he just apologised claiming he didn't know, the night shift worker either had no idea he was stark naked or just didn't care. It was so funny, I couldn't contain myself.
The third night went the same sort of way, the hostel was having a pool party which meant an excuse to get very drunk and spend most of the night in the pool. Once again I had a bottle of rum, and some beer and got very drunk again. I fell asleep by the pool a couple of hours after everyone had sort of gone to sleep or out.

The bus was perfect, it was long enough to get a good nights sleep, but not too long as to make you start feeling funny. I luckily had two seats to myself the whole way. I pretty much slept the whole journey, I had my sleeping bag as I had learnt that Colombian buses are absolutely freezing. Twelve hours later we arrived in Cartagena and I still had some pasta left to eat for breakfast, what a good idea I thought to myself. We got a bus from the bus terminal but went too far and had gone past the old town where we were supposed to stay, its where all the hostels are. We got a taxi from some shopping district full of lots of designer labels, I doubt any of us would be coming here any time soon. The old town was amazing, the whole part is built within an old Spanish fort. It has survived all this time and looks as though it would happily survive another two hundred years. There are so many colonial buildings, churches etc.. in the old town. Some of the old buildings have the most elaborate door knocks I have ever seen, forget the traditional lion, these had huge lizards, huge hands and some male faces. There couldn't be a bigger contrast between the colonial old town and the new town with its bug tower blocks, big office building and swanky new hotels, it almost resembles Miami. Cartagena is very very hot and is also full of mosquitoes, not so bad as the jungle but still not too pleasant. The heat is another thing, it is the hottest I have experienced yet on my travels, the Arica desert was dry heat, here is much more humid tropical heat, it is the Caribbean coast after all.

That afternoon I spent hours wondering around going to various locations where I had been told there were cambios, I finally found some, thank goodness I brought more dollars than I was going to with me as it has been a right pain changing money. Spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing at the hostel, made myself far too much pasta in the plan to keep some for my next night bus, my third in a row, well with only a few hours sleep in a bed between. There was a bbq that evening so I decided to stay for it. I met a couple more people to go to Cartagena with so was going to head off after the food.

When I did eventually get back I was so pissed off I was f-ing and blinding for a couple of hours, it wasn't that the single event that was so annoying, it was that it was the second time it had happened to me, last time was just before the earthquake. I was calmed down and spent the rest of the night chatting to a really cool American guy telling me about New Orleans and some other places I plan to visit in the States. I remembered that I had a been given a fake $20,000 note at some point and gave it to a friends friend who was a local, she gave me the change for it as he had managed to use it, result, at least a little good came of the night. The fake is really obvious to spot, in hindsight I should have know better, it was a piece of paper with the money printed on it, no hallmark or anything.

Medellin looked really cool, it was a real shame that I only had time for about one day there. We arrived at about 8.00am and there weren't any beds for me to sleep on so I went to the TV room, watched some TV and booked my flights doing my Caribbean Island hop. After I had my room sorted, I put my stuff away and headed out on a walk around the city. It was a lot bigger than I had imagined, I asked some man for directions and he said it was too far to walk and recommended I get the metro to where I wanted to go. I walked for about an hour and only made it about one third of the way so I did get the metro. I went to the botanical gardens, had a look around then went to the Park explora, similar to the science museum in London but cost a lot more to get in, too much by the sounds of what they had on display so I gave it a miss. I walked back about half way, past a few squares, went to the Plaza Botero, a square full of crap Botero sculptures. Sorry I keep saying how crap they are, it is just my opinion and I don't like them at all, I know some people like them quite a lot, just not me. On the way to the next metro stop I went through the busiest market I have ever been too, it was ridiculous, the same stuff again and again and again, then some chicken fast food. Before I went back to the hostel I got some food from the supermarket that took me about an hour to find, I cooked myself some dinner, drank some rum and beer, watched some films then got ready to go out with some of the people to 'zona rosa' the pink zone, where all the bars are. The hostel we went to was good too. I didn't the most of the bed though, went out that night. And didn't get to bed till gone 6.00am and had to check out at 12.00 so had to get up around 11.00am to shower and sort my stuff out. We went out that night, the plan was to end up in a club called 'Carnival' but I never go that far as I was abandoned in some bar whilst blowing my nose. I went in for under a minute, got some tissue and blew my nose, when I got out everybody was gone. I waited half an hour or so but nothing so I headed back to the hostel, I didn't have the address or anything so it took me and a driver about forty five minutes to find and about $8,000 Colombian pesos even though I only had $5,000, luckily my driver was a nice guy otherwise I would have been pretty screwed, we also had a chat about Cartagena and other places in Colombian and the Caribbean. He gave me some good advice, to always take an address of somewhere to go with me just in case, I will definitely take that advice. I don't believe those fuckers leaving me though, on my own, somewhere I don't know at all, with near to no money and drunk, with no idea where the hostel is, nice one!

We got back to Armenia and got our second night bus in a row to Medellin.

That night, the girls had changed their minds and had decided to go to a place called Salento, in the coffee plantation area of Colombia. You had to get a bus to Armenia then another one to Salento, I tagged along anyway, why not, it was different to what I was initially going to do but my plans have never been set in concrete. Armenia was just another city but Salento was beautiful, up in the hills, surrounded by forests and palms and had a mirador where you could go to get a panoramic view of the city. Didn't see any coffee plantations though, a little disappointed with that. We ended up meeting some others, a bunch of people the Dutch girls had met somewhere else on their travels, we went to some place down the road from Salento that had hikes and all sorts, there was a hike that took you to a house surrounded by humming birds, we went there, the walk wasn't too bad there but to hike up the mountain to the cloud forest was reminiscent of walking up the Inca steps leading to Machu Picchu, very tiring indeed, but worth it. From not planning to do much, we ended up on a six hour hike up a mountain and into a forest, the only one in the world where palm trees grow up to 60m high at this altitude, plus I got to see some wild humming birds for the first time. They are as fast as people say and they make a loud almost buzzing sound when they fly.

My last night there I met three Dutch girls who were planning to go to Medellin the next day, that was where I was planning to go so we agreed to go together. We also sat watching some films, drinking some beers and chatting. We tried to go out but the club we were told to go to was closed, we ended up back at the hostel, watched some films then went to bed. During the next day, we all headed off on a walk and were met by one of the Dutch girls friends, some English guy who was pretty cool, had been living in the rich part of Bogota with some family for a while and could speak quite good Spanish, he recommended some places to go and some not to go. We all went to the national museum up just past the museum of modern art. It was free to get in which was a plus and it was rather large, had three floors with lots of different rooms, it was pretty much about Colombian history and the higher you got, the closer you got to present day. It was quite informative, I got to see some things about Colombian history that I never knew before, and got to see some more shitty Botero paintings. The building itself was an old prison and was a great design of a building, it was a large cross, presumably different wings when it was a prison, but none the less it looked good.

I decided to get up early, have a shower and headed off on a walk around the city, I walked around looking for a cambios to change some US dollars but had no such luck, I found one but the rate they were offering was really bad so I held back. I went to the museum of modern art and it I thought that it was actually really cool, for a start I didn't have to pay, maybe I was lucky I don't know, all I know is that it shouldn't be free but I didn't have to pay. On the first floor were some cool etchings by Goya, some looked amazing if not a little creepy, cherubs with adult faces and lots of people with devil faces. The gallery was full of college kids and school kids, some making sketches, the rest just being noisy and getting in the way. The next level up had some sculptures, one of them stood out to me, it was by Carlos Cruz Diez and was of different coloured vertical stripes, some at slight angles with a mirror between, when you moved along it, the colours changed to almost a spectrum out of only three initial colours, I thought it was really clever and tried to take a photo and a film but got told off by the security guard. The rest wasn't that great, some really crap Botero paintings, there were Botero paintings all over Colombia.

I went out for a walk in the morning to check out the other hostel, maybe check myself in for the next day, when I got there I spoke to the people working there, had a look around, then went back to the other place. My watch was reading 11.45 meaning I still had about fifteen minutes to get back and sort my stuff out then check out if I did want to check in at the other place. When I got back, my watch was still reading 11.45, the real time now was 12.30. I had a shave, got rid of my goatee, wasted another razor but was now completely cleanly shaven, not a single bit of facial hair on me at all, first time in I can't remember how long. I checked out, checked myself in to the other place, musicology, it was $15,000 Colombian pesos with breakfast for the first night, then it would become $18,000 Colombian pesos including breakfast and dinner, bargain when you think about it really. The hostel was pretty cool too, a bit more laid back then the other one, much friendlier staff and an altogether better crowd. It was a shame I was only going to be there for a couple of nights.

The hostel seemed okay, what I would expect really, the bed was really comfortable though, one of the nicest I have been on the whole time I have been in South America. As I was so tired all I did was go out, have a big fat hamburger, pretty much pure meat, so much in fact that it seemed to be a meat and bread sandwich, it was delightfully tasty though, the first good bit of meat I have had since my ayhuasca diet. I took the burger back to the hostel and devoured it slowly making the most of all that meat, it seemed as though I hadn't eaten meat in longer than I had. After my meat overdose I went and chilled in the TV room, they were about to watch a film called 'the book of Eli' I had seen the trailer for it, didn't really appeal to me but I thought why not, I have nothing better to do right now. The film was as expected and had far too much emphasis on religion.

I got my flight from Leticia to Bogota, delayed of course, I waited and waited for my flight. In all fairness I did get to the airport at about 11.30am when my flight wasn't due till about 14.45 even though worse still it was delayed till 15.05. The flight itself was very fast, it seemed we landed before we had even taken off, I had dozed off listening to music but apparently the plane went in for its approach to land then took to the skies again, I had no idea and I don't think it did much, maybe delaying us by a further ten or twenty minutes. I met some English/Australian bloke at the airport in Leticia then again in Bogota, we decided to share a cab into the centre to save ourselves a bit of cash each. I got a lift back to his hostel, I was going to go elsewhere but when I arrived it was dark and I was very tired and couldn't be bothered to find the other hostel so I just stayed there. We didn't arrive till about 20.30 even though our flight landed around six, the traffic leaving the airport and on the main roads was atrocious, worse than rush hour in London.

My first impressions of Colombia were quite good, it had streets littered with palm trees, it was warm, and the music being piped out of the radios was no longer reggaton or the weird Chinese sort of music in Peru, it was Latin jazz. Leticia had a mix of Colombians, Brazilians and Peruvians who were all free to come and go as they pleased. The airport was apparently international and had to be the smallest I have ever seen, it even served the nearby military base. It had one tiny terminal and one single small runway. One of the only bad things about Leticia is that it is really expensive, at least compared to Peru, I hope the rest if Colombia isn't like this. I'm glad to be leaving anyway, there isn't too much to do here and it all costs a bomb.

The boat was supposed to take about nine hours but I'm pretty sure that when I got to the Santa Maria border to get my exit stamp it had only been about six or seven hours. Once I got my stamp, I had to go to the dock, get another boat to Leticia, I thought that my ticket covered me to Leticia but when I arrived there apparently not. I had to pay some money for it, luckily I had $50 Soles so I could pay, otherwise I had no money at all. The border at Leticia is pretty cool, it is a three way border all with different rivers branching off the Amazon, you have the borders between, Colombia, Brazil and Peru. I was given my change in Colombian Pesos which helped me out quite a bit as I could now afford the extortionately priced taxis to the airport and then back again to the cheapest hostel in town. I had to go to the airport apparently to get my entrance stamp and visa into Colombia. I went to the airport, had to have my bags scanned on entry to the actual terminal building itself, very strange but it meant that everybody passing through the doors would have to experience a slight inconvenience. There was a tiny room at the airport where I was supposed to go and get my stamp, then I was free to leave. My taxi driver from the port had decided he would stay at the airport and wait, no matter how long it took. I ended up waiting an hour just to get a stamp saying I was in the country. When I was finally done, I got back in the taxi and asked the driver to take me to the cheapest place in town, it was still pretty pricey at $20,000 Colombian pesos. The place wasn't a hotel or hostel, it was a residencia, it was pretty dirty and basic but it would do, it was the cheapest after all, plus there was a fan that actually got my whole body, not just my feet. I went out, got some food, some local Colombian beer, pretty crap really, weak and with no flavour whatsoever. Checked my emails then went to bed, I was off to Bogota at 14.00.

I had to get up early again, there's no rest for the wicked eh? I had to be up at about 5.00am to have a quick shower and get to the port and catch my boat for about 6.00am.
Why I left so early I don't know, the boat didn't leave until nearly 7.00am but at least I had a seat and it was pretty comfy, similar to a bus. The boat was quick but for me not good. After driving about forty five minutes we stopped to pick some people up, a woman got on with a baby and they sat next to me. I didn't mind that too bad but when the baby shit itself then stank out the whole boat with shit, an worse still the stupid woman just changed his nappy next to me. He had shit all over his nappy, all down his leg and on his trousers. It smelt so foul, worse than when you stand on dog poo and it spreads around in a car or something closed like that. Luckily for me I had a spare empty plastic bag that she could use to put her sons shitty nappy in. I had to open the window all the way and keep my nose covered for a while until the smell diffused in the air enough to not smell so bad.

For dinner, I made the most of the kitchen and made some chicken soup with rice, out of a packet, that I had been carrying around since Chile. It was a very good surprise, the soup was actually tasty and had plenty of rice in it, making it more filling than I expected. We both had some soup, chilled out for a bit and then went on a search to find some fruit juice. After walking around for a while I remembered that the yellow rose of Texas had some nice fruit juices so we just went there, again.

Back at the hostel Isabel was reading a book, I have no idea what it was but she was bored and wanted to go to the Bellen market at the other end of town, I didn't mind, it was quite a good idea, get out of the hostel, it was quite a gloomy day so chilling out by the pool wasn't really an option, so we went. Apparently Bellen is know as the Peruvian Venice, it has an elaborate network of streets and during the wet season, when the river floods over, the markets move up hill more and the whole area has been changed from streets to canals. I didn't really make much sense as to why there was a market underwater, or at least below the water line.
To be honest, the markets were utterly disgusting, there were chicken cut up, and just out in the open, unrefrigerated, meat the same, fish the same, there were large piles of rubbish on the floor, it was like a rubbish tip with butchers and fishmongers all around the edges, there was the most unpleasant smell of shit, and piss and fish and rotten meat and all sorts, it was not nice at all. To buy meat there was pretty much a guarantee of food poisoning. We were followed by a couple of local claiming to be tour guides, one of them kept on showing us a picture of him with an American bloke, we did not care at all but they just followed us all the way round. We didn't speak to them but they kept on saying things about where we were and all sorts, to be fair they did get us a few things to try for free. These nuts that look like squashed brains that come from a fruit that looks like a really veiny papaya. I tried this thing called a cashew fruit, presumably where the nut comes from, there was big nut shaped thing on the end. I took one bite and it had to be one of the worst things I have tried, it was exceptionally bitter and for some reason it burnt my mouth and lips, it completely numbed my mouth to the extent that I couldn't feel my tongue, it even made my tongue go white. It felt as though I had just scolded the inside of my mouth with really hot tea or something. I desperately needed some relief so I bought some juice which the lady said was mandarin juice, it was concentrated lemon juice for cooking and salads, that just made it a whole lot worse. In fact, it was so bad that I was nearly sick.

Once on mainland we went straight for the hostel, quickly saying our goodbyes to Leon, Lauren and daughter Kucy. Everybody was still at the hostel, Brian was out checking the scores of some hockey game, Mayta and David were chilling in the room and in my old bed was a new person, a Swiss girl named Isabel. I paid close attention to my visions and shaved my beard as soon as I had the chance to. My shave took me a while, well, a very long time and a brand new disposable razor. I felt like I was a child again, my face felt so naked and wet, my skin was finally free to be in full contact with the air, it was a good feeling. I say I shaved, I only managed to get through either side of my face, I still had a goatee. After my pretty lame attempt at a shave it was time for the guys to leave, they were off to the airport to get a flight to Lima, get a bus to Cusco and do Machu Picchu. We all said our goodbyes, exchanged contact details, then they were off. I had a few errands to run, I had to buy my ticket to Letica via a speed boat, also most of my clean clothes were now filthy as I had used some of them in the jungle and had fallen in the river. I dropped my stuff off at the lavanderia then went on my way to the ticket shop to buy my ticket, as soon as I got to the main square I realized I has left all my money at the hostel, I had to walk all the seven or so blocks back there, get my money and head back to the ticket shop. I couldn't be bothered to walk all the way so I got a tuk tuk there, paid my $50 US for the ticket, for tomorrow morning, the flyer said they only went Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, but once I was there they had tickets for every day. On my way back I stopped off at a internet café just to check emails and the like.

The journey was long and slow, we kept on getting stuck in these little rivers, in either the shallows, crashing into plants or the propeller dragging underneath and getting tangled in roots and leaves. By the time we got to Iquitos, it had taken us about two and a half hours, we were all soaking wet, so much so that Ludavic (I have been calling him Ludwig but I think his name is really Ludavic) kept on wringing out his t-shirt and each time an awful lot of water came out.

I hadn't had a look into my sick bucket all night and even though I knew it wouldn't be like who I saw it last night and thought it would be, I still had a slight inkling that it may have been purple with bits in it. It wasn't, it was clear with bits of chewed up fish in it. It was now 5.00am and our boat had been sort of arranged to leave here at about six or six thirty. I thought I would get up, get my stuff together and get ready for the day ahead, I didn't get too much sleep, I was tripping until about twelve then put my mosquito net up and got to sleep about an hour later, so in reality I may have only had about four hours sleep maximum. I woke up to sheer disappointment, it had rained nearly all night, it was raining now and it didn't look as though the weather was going to let up at all. Annoyingly it was raining when a boat arrived to drop some people off at the hut, they pulled away and none of us knew what was going on, this was the boat we had arranged the night before to take us back to Iquitos and it was leaving us here. Somebody called it back and asked if he was still going to take us back. There was all this confusion as to what the plan was, they ended up trying to sort out some kind of plan for over an hour now, eventually they came to an agreement, the lady who owns the boat's son was going to drive us back to Iquitos. We set off on the boat, in the rain, not to heavy now but it looked as though it would get worse at any minute and it did, the skies just opened up and the rains came down thick and fast. We only drove about five minutes down river, got to another hut and then everybody else got out apart from us, what the hell is going on, why can't plans be made and kept instead of constantly changing without any notice. Anyway, we were waiting on this boat a while, her son appeared with a poncho and two umbrellas, not really enough but it would do, even though we were pretty much all soaked it made things that little bit more bearable especially when it was pouring heavily.

After about half an hour or so I began feeling very strange, I started to sweat uncontrollably, I couldn't stay still and felt something not too pleasant bubbling away in my belly. The chants were sending my off on journey in my own mind. It was like something I have never experienced or know was possible, I was actually having visions so intense that some I felt like I was participating in them, some I was watching like it was a film. I had some unanswered questions in my mind, mostly trivial things but some were really annoying me. I was undecided whether or not I should shave, one of my visions was a mirror image of myself without a beard, cleanly shaven, I presume that as I was toying with the idea, my visions had told me to shave it off as soon as I could. Another vision was telling me to leave the jungle as soon as I could, my body and mind couldn't handle the constant torment of the bloody mosquitoes, I definitely wouldn't deny that vision, it was very clear what that meant. I had a series of other visions, most were irrelevant and some were like reliving old memories. All of my visions were playing out like films but none of them could end, they all got to a point and then nothing. This went on pretty much the whole time, I didn't know what it meant until I had a moment of clarity, I opened my eyes and could see, they were all culminating in the bottom of the sick bucket, I needed to be sick to rid myself of darkness and let the light be free. My sick was mad, I could see it so clearly as if it wasn't dark and there were lights on everywhere, it was bright purple, it had spilled all over the floor, was dripping all over my shirt and running out of my mouth, the worst thing about it was that it wasn't just purple liquid, it was filled with lots of bugs, all different shades of purple, some with white. It didn't feel religious in any way, just that it was really spiritual, in body and mind. It was amazing, as soon as I was sick I felt good, in fact I haven't felt that good in a long time, the only thing that was annoying me were still the fucking mosquitoes, buzzing around my ears. After about four hours or so of chanting the trip came to an end. It was a good trip, I would highly recommend it, more than anything else I have done or anywhere else I have been. I put up a mosquito net and went to sleep, the end of a great day and a voyage of a lifetime.

At about 19.30, after the sun had gone down, we began the ceremony. A couple of kerosene lamps were placed around, all went quiet and calm, then we began.
The shaman went around sprinkling this really beautiful intensely scented liquid. Then darkness fell, the lamps were blown out, it all became pitch black, I could not see a single thing. The only thing that I knew was going on was the shaman blessing the ayhuasca, chanting and purifying the air with his really strong and tasty cigarettes. We were all called up in turns, I was actually getting quite nervous now, don't really know why, just that I felt a bit uneasy but excited. When I knelt before the shaman, he poured out my concentrated shot of ayhuasca, blew the smoke to purify it, then he gave it to me. I actually didn't think the shot tasted too bad, if anything it was quite nice, in my opinion it was very similar to a highly concentrated malt extract drink. After I had drunk it, I returned to my mattress and sick bucket to be comfortable and ready for what might happen. Once we had all taken our shots, the shaman went round and individually blew his smoke at us and on us. This went on for a bit, then he went back to his seat and began his chants, the chants that would last the entire duration of the ayhuasca trip.

Because of my stupidity, it now meant that I had to spend the rest of the afternoon in my pants waiting and hoping that my clothes would dry, I bloody hoped they would as in had no spare clothes, I hadn't planned to fall in the river. I was getting bitten so badly and no matter how much repellent on it did nothing. I was so hungry, all I had eaten was a bowl of fruit salad at about eight in the morning. The family who look after the hut were cooking lunch and wondered if we wanted any, of course we did, we shouldn't have really as we were going to have the ceremony later but we couldn't resist. Fresh fish out of the river, rice, and yucca, it was a lovely lunch, in fact on of the nicest I have had for a long time. I had a gut feeling though that it would somehow make its way out of me this evening, one way or another. After we had eaten, literally everybody went to sleep, everybody apart from myself. Just read my book, did a little bit of writing.

I spent most of the remainder of the afternoon trying to play with the monkey, every time I picked it up it would either jump straight off or bite me, its bites didn't hurt as it was only a baby. One time it jumped off me, ran straight for the door, and did a tiny little poo. Martin was a noisy little bugger, constantly squeaking and running around, but as he was so cute it was easily forgiven.

The hut was like one of those traditional tribal huts, it was a big circular shape, had a large cone roof made out of palm leave, it was raised on stilts, better still we were the first ones to be using it, it hadn't been made that long and we were having the first ceremony that night. There was a family living in a smaller hut near it, they were sort of caretakers of it, they kept it clean, in use and made sure nobody else would break in and use it.
We were given a brief tour around, introduced to the family, met the local pet, 'Martin' the monkey. A big annoyance to me, the fact that I was really pissed off with the amount of mosquitoes was made worse by the fact that the hut was completely surrounded, day and night every day, bollocks, I was already looking forward to getting bitten some more. Ludwig, Kucy, the daughter and myself went for a swim, sort of! When I say swim, it was unintentional, I fell in. For some unknown reason, I decided to go out on one of the canoes, the sort that had been carved out of a big log, fully clothed and with no experience on this sort of canoe. Of course it wasn't going to end well, for a start I was fully clothed, ready for a disaster, I had no experience and I just got in a drifted out. Then I fell in, got absolutely soaked, head to toe. My shoes were like buckets of water and my phone was dripping wet, the weird thing was that some buttons were broken but now they worked? I felt so stupid, I had been there for about half an hour and had already made a complete fool of myself, at least it meant that I had no problem jumping straight back in, going for a swim in the murky brown water and heading out on the canoe to go up and down the river. I was so wet I didn't care about falling in again. It was so humid here, like nothing I have ever experienced before, it was very similar to being in a sauna, just no steam, just very hot damp air. We must have spent at least the next hour swimming around in the water and rowing up and down the river, we entered some parts that really looked as though a crocodile should jump out and bite us but it didn't happen, apparently they don't really come out during the day.

Up early, showered and ready, we all headed for the yellow rose of Texas where we had planned to meet at 8.00am. We got there, there wasn't anybody to be seen, just a couple of arrogant American old men, an old English hippy and a few others just hanging around. We got some juice and some fruit salad and ate and waited. After about half and hour I was really starting to lose faith and was getting a little nervous that nobody would show up and it all would have been a lie. They arrived, the shaman had been sitting near us for about ten minutes, he had ordered some food but had to rush off to get some supplies at the market, he was planning to cook up a brew at the hut whilst we were there, the plan didn't materialise unfortunately, it would have been really good watching him cook up this concoction in a big cauldron then reduce ten gallons to a litre bottle.
As we were running so late, we had missed the normal boat and were left with no option but to get a speed boat there. Sounded amazing, I would much rather get there in a fast speed boat than a really slow boat with a lawnmower engine that would take about three hours compared to the forty minutes of the speed boat. We had to pay a little extra but not too much more, the boat cost $12 Soles instead of about $5 Soles, no problem, it was a lot quicker and would be an adventure in itself. When it finally set off after waiting in it for nearly an hour, the journey was a lot quicker than I thought but we had only gone a bit of the way, we still had to walk across a village and get another boat about an hour down a really small windy river to the hut. It was spectacular going along this slow boat down a river through avenues of trees, past huts and then arriving at our hut, or the hut we would be using.

We all went to the restaurant to meet Leon, he was sitting in the square waiting for us, he was with his girlfriend and daughter, they were both going to come, obviously the daughter wasn't going to take part. He explained everything to us, what we needed, what we could eat, when we were leaving, where we were going etc...
This chat got us all really excited about it, the ceremony sounded really good, rather than just being a drug binge on a really powerful hallucinogenic, it was more of a spiritual affair, an ancient practise of the tribal communities in the Amazon. It all sounded really cool, a hut in the middle of the jungle, a river side hut at that with canoes. We were going to spend the whole day at the hut, on the river and around the local area. We had to be up really early though, we were planning to leave around 8.00am from Iquitos and head to the hut about three hours into the jungle. We had an early night, didn't eat meat or drink alcohol even though I had been doing this for over a week, Ludwig and Koen had just started for about twenty four hours.

We walked back via the square and bumped into some English guy, he sort of stopped us and asked if we spoke English, we said yes, then he began telling us about some ayhuasca ceremony that he was going to have the next day and wondered if we fancied doing it. I was really up for it, I explained that the only reason I was there in the first place was to take the ceremony with a shaman near Iquitos for a week. It was going to cost me a fortune and he was offering the same thing for one night at about a tenth of the price. I thought about it, knew that Koen and Ludwig were up for doing it so I took his number and said I would call him later on to confirm. Got back to the hostel, caught up with the boys about an hour later, explained what was going on, the agreed of course, who wouldn't it would be the trip of a lifetime. I called up the English guy called Leon, he was a cool, guy from Yorkshire but had moved to Brighton, he still had a slight northern accent that I could detect but couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. When I spoke to him I had a little trouble getting through, I was in a call centre and the phone didn't seem to be working properly, I could hear him but he couldn't here me at all. I tried again and it worked fine, he was explaining some things over the phone then just said why not just meet up, it will be a lot easier to explain things in person plus he can get to meet us beforehand. He told us to meet him and some really expensive gringo restaurant called 'the yellow rose of Texas' the food looked good and the papaya juice was really nice but it was still a little on the pricey side. There was still about an hour or so to meet him so I cooked myself some pasta using a tomato sauce I had bought earlier on in the day called 'fanny'. It was actually really good, I made a good choice in that, fanny tastes very nice.

After a quick dip in the pool, we went off to get some lunch, sort some stuff out in town, like getting money out of the bank, Brian needed to sort out a flight to Lima as he was going to go with the rest of them towards Cusco and do Machu Picchu. We ate some set menu, I had some fried fish, with rice and a fried banana, the rest had their different dishes, the food was served with some sort of fruit juice, don't know what it was but it was actually quite nice, even though it was the most expensive meal I had in Peru, it was still only about $7 Soles. Brian had Mayta call the tour guide about the Machu Picchu trip to see if there was any space for him, the guide said to call back in another ten minutes or so. We went off because I needed to enquire about the speed boat trip to Leticia, Colombia that I was going to get eventually. The ticket offices were quite far away but on the way we past a stand that had some fruit juice, the fruit was strange, it looked like a lychee on the outside but inside was yellow and hard and had a big pip. The fruit tasted horrible but the juice was lovely, it was like dulce de leche, like a sort of caramel milkshake. Anyway, the ticket offices all had pretty much the same prices and had lots of availability so I didn't need to rush into booking anything just yet.

The boat finally arrived in Iquitos, a day late I might add, but it was early so maybe it did have its advantages, an extra nights accommodation had been included for free, some more food, for free, not too bad I'd say. People were starting to get off, Brian and myself were stuck behind some fools trying to unload some plantain, we missed our stop, the boat just backed up and left the dock. What the hell is going on, why has the boat left before everybody had a chance to get off. The boat had now been filled with tramp like men all waiting to unload things and take their payment of a couple of plantain bananas. We pulled into another dock about 200m down the river. Before we even had a chance to get off, some stupid bastards just jumped straight on the boat, we had to push them aside so we could get off the boat.
Once off we got into a tuk tuk to take us to some place to stay, I was undecided if I was going to stay or not yet. We went to some place that didn't have enough space so we left to go to another place, that place did have plenty of space, they all checked in, I stood and watched, a little envious I might add. There was a spare bed in a room that was only $15 Soles, they easily pulled my arm to stay for one night with them. In one room, there were four beds, one for me, one for Brian, one for David and one for Mayta, Koen and Ludwig went to another room, a double room, they prefer there privacy a bit more than the rest of us.
Best of all this place had a pool, I hadn't had a swim in a pool for ages. Once I had sorted my stuff out I went in for a dip. It felt so good taking a dip in the pool, escaping the extreme humidity and getting a bit of exercise.

What a surprise I got bit a lot more again.

I have managed to read a whole book, 'a million pieces' by James Frey, I had read 'the white tiger' cant remember the author, some Indian man, and I have just started 'slaughterhouse five' by Kurt Vonnegut. I am quite enjoying having this opportunity to read as much as I can, it is pretty fun, I have read quite a lot in a short space of time.

If it wasn't for the bloody mosquitoes this would have been a journey of a life time, it was so fun, but the fact that I'm so uncomfortable makes it a bit shit. Why do these bastards have to make me suffer, the journey has been amazing though, I'm glad I have done it so far. It has actually been a highlight for me, apart from you know what. Why am I so God damn tasty???

This boat has been a disaster so far, It was delayed by a day, I spent about thirty two hours on it before it moved, I nearly had my money stolen, we got stuck on a sand bank for four hours, my sleeping mat got stolen, it was rubbish any way so I didn't really care too much about that. I had also been bitten from head to toe by mosquitoes, the anti malerial medication gave me the shits. It was not at all comfortable. On the plus side it couldn't get any worse unless we sunk (touch wood)!

Same routine with breakfast, horrible liquid with buttered bread, sleep, then I decided to have shower and wash some of my clothes. I washed one of my t-shirts as it smelt pretty foul now, a couple of sweaty days later. I hung it up on a rail above my head so it could dry and decided to do some reading then get some sleep. Shortly after I woke up it was lunch time and I realised my t-shirt was gone, I just presumed it had fallen into the river, oh well I got used to the idea of having one less t-shirt to wear and worry about losing at a later date. After I ate, I read some more and slept some more.

At about 21.00pm there was a very suspicious cargo drop. A small duffel bag had been left on a barrel on the front of the boat, we had noticed this when we were sitting on the concrete bags only moments earlier, then we were asked to leave as it was 'dangerous!' rubbish, then another person said that if the police saw us they would fine us. Nobody had seen any police on the entire river, it was unheard of. A man got off with the bag, and the empty barrel as a decoy. He disappeared into the distance, returned about five minutes later without the bag, mmmmm, I wonder what was going on? Whilst this was going on, the people of the town had come out to load on plantain. There was so much of this stuff already on the boat, and they were loading on a lot more, why oh why would they do this. We came to a conclusion that they use plantains as a replacement for money. I was being bit really badly, I was shouting, swearing, these fucking mosquitoes, the fucking plantain, why aren't we leaving, what the hell is going on? There was no escape from the bastards, I put some long sleeve clothes on, it was too little too late, plus they also bit me through my layers of clothes and repellent. After enduring far too much of this torture we finally left, I was now bitten so much I had become all feverish, shaking, a mixture of cold and hot sweats and I was unbearably itchy. I went to bed in a fit of rage and fever, couldn't get comfortable or sleep but must have passed out eventually.

Every bloody town we stopped at was full of mosquitoes, I was prepared for the buggers, I had some really strong repellent and completely covered myself in it. No such luck, even when I used 100% deet it had no affect, these mosquitoes qould go through the repellent to get a taste of my juicy blood, they loved me so much that whenever I was around people they mainly went for me. It was getting so uncomfortable now. Every time we stopped the fuckers would swarm all over me and bite and bite and suck and suck and then it would make me scratch until I couldn't scratch any more.

We stopped off at another port, this time much smaller but we stopped for a long while longer, every time we stopped, it gave the locals an excuse to come on and try and sell some shit, anything they possibly could, most of the time it was either fruit, drinks or bread. They would always call out 'hay pan', they have bread and 'hay gaseosas' when they are trying to sell us drinks. This time a couple of small boys came on, they were selling coconuts, for juice and to eat the actual nut itself. They must have been no more than eight and they were going around with a machete and a bag full of coconuts. The excitement of seeing these kids hack at the coconuts made me want to buy some, I got one for me and one for Brian and I made the kids cut them open in front of me. It didn't look at all safe but was funny to see these little kids with big machetes hacking at coconuts. This stop was very bizarre, we seemed to have stopped for hours at a tiny town and unloaded a lot of things, when we stopped at the big port before we only unloaded a few bags and whatever.

In the morning I awoke to breakfast of apparent muesli but it there was no muesli to be seen at all, juts a funny coloured liquid with a thick gloopy consistency. We stopped off in a town, it was the biggest place we had stopped so far but we only stopped for a bit, a few more people got on, the crew loaded and unloaded some stuff and we left. I went back to sleep, this came to be my routine, wake up at 6.00am have breakfast no matter how bad it was, then back to sleep to wake up again for lunch. When I woke up, I woke to the noise of the engine just revving as much as it could, I had no idea what was going on as I hadn't looked yet, when I did it wasn't good news. We had become grounded on a sandbank and were stuck, the driver couldn't free the boat no matter how hard he tried, nothing seemed to be working. We must have been there for hours now, it had already been two hours whilst I was asleep and now another couple had gone by. A logging ship came by, hopefully to try and ram us free. No such luck, they tried in vein for ages to try and free us by towing our boat back and forth using rusty old cables, and guess what, the cables kept on snapping. Eventually they used their brain and decided to ram us, about bloody time really as it made much more sense, all they had to do was slowly crash into us. They started with crashing directly into the back but that turned out to be a bad idea as the back of the boat was where the compressed gas cylinders were stored, the boat just crashed into them. Time for a change of plan, they came at us from an angle aiming for the corner, eventually freeing us but in the process they managed to completely disfigure the back of the boat. Once free we were back on our way and hopefully this time avoiding any possible sand banks.

That afternoon, evening and night was hilarious, the four of us were just watching things go by, telling each over stories, jokes and what not. I don't know if it was tiredness or something in the air, all I know is that whatever it was, it was probably the funniest and one of the most fun nights I have had in a long time and I'm sure I'm not alone I say that.
All sorts was going on, David was hilarious, I don't think I have ever met anybody who is so unintentionally funny, the stories he tells and the way he tells them is so good. He told us a few that made us all break into hysterical laughter. He started staying that there was a man pointing, we all looked but couldn't see a single thing, then all of a sudden we all saw a bush that resembled a man pointing, I could never explain how funny it was, it was one of those moments that was so funny but only to the people who were involved in it. I don't know what was better, the 'man bush' or the way that David so badly explained where it was and what it was. He later may have spotted something in a tree, he called out saying that there was something in a tree, unfortunately to us there mus have been thousands of trees and none of us had as clue what he was on about, what tree it was and what was in it. We all had our share of similar things, and for some reason we kept on seeing rabbits, in trees, clouds, anywhere that had shapes, even the moon had shadows on it that resembled a rabbit. The night went on and on to the same tune, laughter, all of us adding our own random thoughts and things we have seen, and the occasional hilarious story by David.